5 Things I Hated About Me.

There are some things we know in our head, but they don’t seem to really take root, like these three:

1. Everyone is unique.
2. Comparison is the Thief of Joy.
3. I can’t be truly great at everything.

Chances are, you’ve liked, hearted, shared, screenshot, and inwardly committed to a saying, bible verse, or meme that reminded you to live as if 1, 2, and 3 were absolutely true. And, I happen to know that you still struggle with at least one of them at least once a week (I’m being generous).

The battle rages inside of us because we also believe that:

1. Some of those unique things about us are wrong, annoying, or hurtful.
2. Someday, measuring myself against others will improve me and my life.
3. I am supposed to be great at more things than I currently am.

Am I right, or am I right? I am right. Let’s go further.  There are some truths to my second list.  Neither you nor I have arrived, and we do struggle with an imperfect nature that tends to sin.  We also have traits that annoy people.  We have habits or make choices that hurt ourselves or others. Sometimes… with a careful approach, looking at what others are doing can potentially help us have a more accurate picture of ourselves. Sometimes.  Also, there may be some areas you are experiencing failure, and you need to make some changes and improve. 

This is the problem with self-improvement, reflection, growth, etc. The process itself can go incredibly wrong. We can veer off into any number of ditches or travel down rabbit trails and wind up anxious, depressed, arrogant, bitter, discontent, narcissistic, or manically restless.  
When I was in junior high, I concluded that my personality was 90% wrong. So, I created a list of right and desirable personality traits and strived to replace all the qualities that were wrong in me. A few weeks later, exhausted, discouraged and confused, I succumbed to my old ways: messy locker, forgotten homework, talkative, silly, creative, spontaneous, me. That try wasn’t my only attempt at giving myself a makeover in one way or another.  Older, wiser me tended to mix and confuse my weak or sinful areas with my uniqueness. I fell into the ditches. I lost myself on the rabbit trails. 

The title of the article is, Five Things I Hated About Me, and it’s time now to share my list. In Junior High, I was determined to become orderly, quiet and reserved, fit in more with the people around me, be less silly and more dignified, and follow the “rules” better. I thought I was a mistake. I thought I knew better than God how I should be wired.  I believed others had to approve of me; all my differences were sin.   Freedom happens when those head facts transfer to my heart, soul, mind. It’s realizing that having a messy locker is totally fine. I bet Martha had a clean closet. I suspect her sister Mary didn’t.  I can learn to be a better listener while praising God for giving me quick words and an enthusiastic spirit. I am free.

Five Things I Hated About Me:

1. My mind struggles to organize physical space and objects, but I can organize thoughts, vision, and strategize my ambitions.  This means my house needs Marie Kondo.  
2. I am an expressive, external processor. This means I make sense of my thoughts as I say them, and that means I talk… a lot.
3. I am spontaneous and like newness, change, and challenges in areas I am passionate about. This means I get drained by repetitive tasks like pretty much all housework and need super-strength self-discipline to stick with tasks I’m not “feeling”.
4. Life HAS to be fun. It’s not an option. This means I embarrass my teens (bonus?) but sometimes people think I don’t have a serious side (I very much do!).
5. I am unconventional and a bit of a rebel.  This means I change the recipe, find another way, be original, and accept the norm only if the norm is the better way. ​ This means I have a busy mind and can feel restless.

If you struggle with people pleasing or perfectionism, or if you are perplexed how your strengths, weaknesses, and personality can work successfully in your life, let’s talk together about living life D E E P and W I D E.    Maybe you want to make your own list of things you once hated about you. They can be things you hated before you read this article!  God desires to show you who he created you to be. He promises to continue the work of bringing you along, making you more like Jesus, the continual and ever-ongoing adventure until we see him face to face.  I want to challenge and inspire  you to live joyfully, freely, and graciously in the process!

Kerri Goodman, ACC, is a life coach and certified behavior consultant who helps women uncover and cultivate their strengths, values, and purpose and move from people pleasers to capable, confident leaders, transforming their personal and professional lives. Contact her at www.kerrigoodman.com